Why smart guys date in parallel, not serial?
Dating Explained by Circuits
Let’s let
V be potential difference between dating girls and doing something productive,
I be current of love, and
R be resistance to current flow.
The problem with serial dating is the same as with serial circuits. If resistance starts to increase, you’re stuck: because V=IR, and R is increasing, I must decrease to hold the equality. Worse still, because P=IV, you’re just not going to have as much power with the increased resistance.
Note
on the above diagram that current is a lousy 214mA, and we’re only able
to get 1.93 "jewels" from the relationships. This is even worse than it
seems: because there’s only one path–through all
relationship–you’ll end up spending the majority of your energy on the
relationship with the greatest resistance, which is exactly the
opposite of what you want to do.
Worst
of all, if (horror of horrors) you actually blow out one of your
relationships, all current stops until you can manually patch things
up. Your love life will be at least momentarily in ruins.
Now let’s examine the case where you’re dating multiple girls at once.
Even
before we try the (admittedly more complicated) calculations, we can
already tell the situation has significantly improved. Because we’re
dating in parallel, we compensate automatically for higher resistance.
Even though Lisa clearly is just not putting out, the result isn’t the
massive slow-down we saw before, but instead results in conservation of
energy, as you expend less effort on a mostly dead branch and focus
instead on more promising branches. Where as before,Lisa sucked the
majority of our energy, now Sally and Judy do–at 16.2 and 9 jewels,
respectively.
A
broken circuit also no longer really fazes us. In the case that one of
the relationships completely evaporates (which, let’s face it, Lisa’s
not heading in a good direction), we’ve still got other branches to
take up the slack. Best of all, because Lisa was high-resistance
anyway, her departure barely affected net current, which decreased from
3.1A to 1.8A–both radically higher than net series current.
And
with that simple metaphor, guys suddenly felt much better about how
things are going in their life right now. Engineering are awesome!
So,
in summary, dating serially is for chumps. If you really wan to have a
better fail-safe, be less afftected by resistance, and have a wonderful
net increase in power, go for paraller relationships. It’s the only way.
